Last night's dream involved my mouth filling with some kind of straw, stony stuff that I would clean out and then it would come back. The thing is, I feel quite nauseous right now and may vomit from the memory. It is so disgusting.

Over the past couple of weeks one of my worst fears was to see J. for the first time. I didn't care if she was thin or gaunt or didn't have hair, but I was afraid that when I hugged her I would cry to see her there and I would get the usual cardboard hug that I usually get, which would break my heart. Dr. S. told me that it might be something she couldn't or wouldn't give and I had to accept that. But she did hug me back! It felt so good that she was there and looking a bit tired but ok. Thank you so much God-I need nothing else for Christmas.

Haven't written recently but I wanted to post this link. Check out the offers available. http://www.freeiPods.com/?r=12842024. The offers given are pretty good-I decided to try the Blockbuster one. Good luck.