Made a fool of myself last night telling about a dream I had last year. I just couldn't keep it to myself. Oh well, I didn't tell the whole thing so part of it is still mine alone. I don't know if everyone keeps secrets to themselves, but I know I do. They are little things, but things I relish to hold onto for me alone.

This weekend was great. We got most everything cleaned up and put away and we could finally relax. I donated blood for the first time. Then I just seemed to let everything go and I could feel my body let go of the tension that has been there for a while. I've also kind of given in to work. The right opportunity will come by at the right time. DS was very busy this weekend with homework in every class and a couple of papers to right. He worked really hard all weekend and I am proud of his work. BH also seemed to relax even though we worked all day cleaning, laundry, cat litter, etc. Now we will start getting into the Christmas rush, but I'm not freaked out about that yet. J even called me last night, which is always surprising. Gotta to go cause I'm at work.

This week has been a long one. One of our former students committed suicide this week. He graduated last year. In many ways, it is almost like it didn't happen since there is almost nothing being said about it. I don't know if this is because he graduated last year or because he committed suicide. The administration has given us a list of students to watch out for who were his friends. His family has kept quiet about it, though they are having a wake and funeral for him, both of which the public is invited to. (I know that is not proper English.) Hopefully I can get my own thoughts and feelings straightened out quickly.

DS is being stubborn about finishing his school work and wants to see M. tonight for 1 1/2 hours. I have decided I will leave him there by himself so he may talk to her more than he shares with me. Something I don't like but will give in to anyway. I am jealous of the fact that he will share with her, but not me, but I am glad he will share with someone.

We had a good weekend, the weather was fantastic until Sunday when it rained, but that seemed almost fitting for the occasion. Even though I knew some of the people in the Colonial Army, it was still intimidating to be in between two lines of people knowing that your side was surrendering. DS seemed to have a good time, so I think it was good that we brought him, even though he now has work to make up.

The weather outside is great today, at least it looks great-it is cold out there. I think this may actually be the killing frost for my roses. They have withstood the weather so far because they are close to the house, but if not today, then definitely by the end of the weekend.

I am very frustrated. Things seem to be going rapidly downhill for DS Everyday brings a new problem with school. In addition to grade problems, he has been mistakenly given cut slips when he wasn't cutting. I just feel like I don't know where to go. I have a call into his school with his teachers, the assistant principal and his caseworker, with no response from any of them. I also have a call into M to talk to her.

He seems to be fine, but something is wrong, I just don't know what and I don't know what to do for him. He has plenty of time for homework, even with the extra school day. Is he overwhelmed, is he rebelling either actively or passively, what's up. Anyone who ever tells me that being a parent is easy is not doing it right!

We'll be going away for a couple of days this week and it should be fun. I just hope the weather is good. I am also worried about P. He has been going flat out for several weeks and I am concerned he will get sick after all this. I am going to try and drive as much as possible so he can rest while we are traveling. I wore my clothes yesterday. They were pretty comfortable, though they will take some getting used to, especially the bra part. The stays do work well, but it's not quite the same. It's a bit stiffer because of the way it is made with boning. Time to get out of here.