Springtime

I discovered yesterday just a bit of what withdrawal feels like: headache, dizzy, high blood pressure, chills, etc. I wasn't able to get my prescriptions over the weekend, so by yesterday afternoon I was not feeling well. All better now. I have little do to at work since there is a workshop going on here. Maybe, I will begin to research for a new article. The last one apparently was not printed, though no one let me know. Oh well.

Non-stop

Whew! Between appointments, work, and getting things ready for meetings, I feel like I haven't stopped since Sunday. I had a good appointment with Dr. S. yesterday. He was delighted that I was doing as well as I am. It's been a long six years but I do thing I am doing better than I have since I was a teenager, when I was somehow coping with it all, sometimes not too successfully.
DS wants to attend a magnet school, which costs $3000. But we all think it would be good for him, so if he gets in, we'll figure out how to pay for it. He has a performance tonight which he is pretty excited about. We are missing the CD launch of a friend's but we can't be in two places at once and DS is more important for us to be at. Though we are disappointed to miss the other party.
More later, I need to find a way to imbed a link and I don't have the time or the patience to do it. I figured out the problem-Safari does not have all the functions available, so I need to do this from work. Just a quick note.

I have been reading the blog of Neil Gaiman, an author. I like his style, it is short and interesting. Right now he is discussing the filming of a movie based on one of his books. I just hope the movie will be shown here in the U.S.

Now to test this link and see if it works.

Tryouts

Just trying the mobile blogging functions. Yesterday I learned how to do audioblogs, today it was photo blog entries. This is pretty cool!

This message was sent using PIX-FLIX Messaging service from Verizon Wireless!

I am feeling a little triumphant today. I realized while I have not lost the weight I would have liked to, I am still at a lower weight than I was last year. I haven't been able to work out this week because of birthdays and such, but I also haven't had any chocolate this week (except for that frosting which is now all gone!) When I was baking the cake for tonight I discovered what was missing from my cake making-the smelll of my mother's mixer as it worked. That was why it always felt like a birthday. Well, time for new traditions, as long as it doesn't involve using yogurt butter-which does not bake well into a cake.

I am coming to realize that I am mediocre. I may be intelligent, but my life falls short of what I wanted. I may have two Masters degrees but I am not the go get teacher librarian I always pictured, working with teachers to create all kinds of lesson plans and working with them and the kids. It is unlikely that I will ever teach at the college level and even my book reviews are not great-though I hope to work on that with practice. But I am ok, for the most part, with this. I have a great family life, a pleasant roof over my head, and a job to go to everyday, so we can live comfortably, even if it is always on the edge.

As I was taking my multitudes of medication, I wondered if I should just stop. But then came the memories of the spiral down into desperation. K. once said that John Nash (the mathematician portrayed in A Beautiful Mind) had his profound visions when he was not taking medication. Does this mean that he should not have been given medicine so he could be a genius through and through? I guess each person needs to decide this on an individual basis.
I am practicing not getting into the her/him/themselves bit. Part of the thesis defense that took place nearly two weeeks ago. I have actually finished. Of course it took four years more than it should have, but that was what the wallet and the mind could handle. Now I have two degrees and no where to go. Hopefully I will soon find what is my next step in life. No more school, no more kids, now I should find something less selfish to do.
Tired and unable to see with this old pair of glasses, I say goodnight.