Made a fool of myself last night telling about a dream I had last year. I just couldn't keep it to myself. Oh well, I didn't tell the whole thing so part of it is still mine alone. I don't know if everyone keeps secrets to themselves, but I know I do. They are little things, but things I relish to hold onto for me alone.

This weekend was great. We got most everything cleaned up and put away and we could finally relax. I donated blood for the first time. Then I just seemed to let everything go and I could feel my body let go of the tension that has been there for a while. I've also kind of given in to work. The right opportunity will come by at the right time. DS was very busy this weekend with homework in every class and a couple of papers to right. He worked really hard all weekend and I am proud of his work. BH also seemed to relax even though we worked all day cleaning, laundry, cat litter, etc. Now we will start getting into the Christmas rush, but I'm not freaked out about that yet. J even called me last night, which is always surprising. Gotta to go cause I'm at work.

This week has been a long one. One of our former students committed suicide this week. He graduated last year. In many ways, it is almost like it didn't happen since there is almost nothing being said about it. I don't know if this is because he graduated last year or because he committed suicide. The administration has given us a list of students to watch out for who were his friends. His family has kept quiet about it, though they are having a wake and funeral for him, both of which the public is invited to. (I know that is not proper English.) Hopefully I can get my own thoughts and feelings straightened out quickly.

DS is being stubborn about finishing his school work and wants to see M. tonight for 1 1/2 hours. I have decided I will leave him there by himself so he may talk to her more than he shares with me. Something I don't like but will give in to anyway. I am jealous of the fact that he will share with her, but not me, but I am glad he will share with someone.

We had a good weekend, the weather was fantastic until Sunday when it rained, but that seemed almost fitting for the occasion. Even though I knew some of the people in the Colonial Army, it was still intimidating to be in between two lines of people knowing that your side was surrendering. DS seemed to have a good time, so I think it was good that we brought him, even though he now has work to make up.

The weather outside is great today, at least it looks great-it is cold out there. I think this may actually be the killing frost for my roses. They have withstood the weather so far because they are close to the house, but if not today, then definitely by the end of the weekend.

I am very frustrated. Things seem to be going rapidly downhill for DS Everyday brings a new problem with school. In addition to grade problems, he has been mistakenly given cut slips when he wasn't cutting. I just feel like I don't know where to go. I have a call into his school with his teachers, the assistant principal and his caseworker, with no response from any of them. I also have a call into M to talk to her.

He seems to be fine, but something is wrong, I just don't know what and I don't know what to do for him. He has plenty of time for homework, even with the extra school day. Is he overwhelmed, is he rebelling either actively or passively, what's up. Anyone who ever tells me that being a parent is easy is not doing it right!

We'll be going away for a couple of days this week and it should be fun. I just hope the weather is good. I am also worried about P. He has been going flat out for several weeks and I am concerned he will get sick after all this. I am going to try and drive as much as possible so he can rest while we are traveling. I wore my clothes yesterday. They were pretty comfortable, though they will take some getting used to, especially the bra part. The stays do work well, but it's not quite the same. It's a bit stiffer because of the way it is made with boning. Time to get out of here.

I always seem to post about the weather. I think part of it is a New Englander's obsession with the changing weather. An hour ago we had a downpour with strong winds. Now the sun is out. I'll try harder not to comment on the weather.

Spent most of today actually working. I had lots of little things to do, including the newsletter (as it may be), reading VOYA, sending out emails to listservs, etc. Now I just have to wait for replies. I know I will be overwhelmed at the responses. There is a speaker I believe would be good for our school and I put out feelers to see if she is good. I also looked into joining one of the audio book review committees. To be on the committee you have to attend the conferences and of course they are not all on the East Coast so I have to discuss this with Peter. I've hardly ever gone to conferences, but they are expensive.

Today has been a bit exciting so far. Someone smelled gas and we had to evacuate. However, most of us thought it was just a drill. We were only outside for a few minutes and the temperature outside was as warm as it was inside-still haven't got those heat settings right. I am totally disgusted with our kitchen, it is so dirty, I don't want anyone to see it. I have started cleaning it by cleaning part of the stove. Over the next week or so I hope to get it all clean, including cupboards and the refrigerator.

A couple of schools have been put on lockdown recently, one because a student had a loaded gun and was planning on murdering 3 other students. Scary stuff that kids can get those guns and then plan on killing someone with them. I don't like to think about it, but I know that we have students here that have weapons on them and we just don't know it.

Back to better thoughts, it is a glorious fall day with lots of sunshine and blue skies with a touch of autumn breezes. Too bad I won't have time to enjoy it today. I have an appointment and then I have to go shopping. I only own three pairs of work pants and three shirts to use. I have been swapping them around, but now it is time to get something else, even if I don't really like the other choices out there.

Yesterday and today were wonderful days. It was sunny and you could feel the wind was an autumn breeze. I mowed part of the lawn, but was stopped by a heavy pile of leaves that need to be raked before I finished mowing. I really hate raking leavesm but it has to be done.

I started attending a bible group called Mark on Mondays where will be study the Gospel of Mark. It went fairly well last night. It was a whole different group of people than I usually meet with, which was nice. And I did participate in the discussion.

The bit of fall we had is gone and been replaced by warm, muggy weather. Yesterday was an interesting day. It was quiet and welcoming, though a bit confusing to me. Apparently I am really not an abstract thinker because I never see things with the insight that others do. I think I am probably right brained. In spite of this I enjoyed the day. The other women were very nice and the leader was a wonderful guide. It was definitely a day of relaxation which I have continued into today.

I finished knitting my sweater and am now sewing it together. I also worked on a sock I started yesterday. It is a simple sock pattern, but the yarn is beautiful superwash wool in different shades of deep aqua and blues. It reminds me of ocean colors and currents. The texture is smooth and cool, not slippery at all, so it is easy to knit.

I finished listening to Forest by Sonya Hartnett. As with other books she has authored it is an unusual and entrancing story. A city cat and two kittens are dumped in a forest after their owner has died. The novel, told from the cats' perspective, describes the journey home for Kian and the two kittens who lived with him, Cally and Jem. The cats evenutally find their way out into the grasslands and the familiarity of the human world. This story however, is no Mother Goose tale, and the evils and dangers the cats face are all too real. While fear and hunger are their constant companions, they also run across the paths of a dog on the loose and the dangers of the road. Hartnett has given voices to the cats that seem to perfectly suit them as felines. The fates of Kian and the kittens keep the reader (listener) entranced right up to the end of the book, and as with her other works, the ending is one that is never as expected.
(Caroline Lee gives an excellent narration of the book.)

From Amazon.com (much better than mine):
Kian, a cossetted suburban cat, is snatched from his comforts and dumped in the bush along with two kittens, Cally and Jem. The greatest threat to their survival are other cats, ferals who fiercely guard their territories. Kian survives some unnerving and vicious encounters but is unswerving in his desire to make the long journey home to his territory even though it is apparent his owner is dead and that there will be no welcome from the cruel man who has taken over the house. Hartnett's creation of the cat's point of view and her sensuous depiction of the forest is exceptional in its imagination, beauty and truth.

There was a taste of fall today with the temperature getting down to the 30's. I hope my roses are ok-I didn't get a chance to cover them and they all have alot of new growth and many buds. It isn't supposed to get that cold again for the next week.

The open house went well with all of DS's teachers saying he was doing ok. It is recommended that we move him from his B level science class to A level. We are all for this because we know he can do the work, he just needs the motivation.

Frank Capra Jr. came to speak at the magnet school DS attends. I thought that was pretty cool and so did he.

It's a long drive out to the retreat tonight, right in the middle of rush hour. I am hoping that the traffic won't be too bad. Dinner will be quiet, with only 2 of us (or maybe 4) eating. The area is beautiful and it might be warm enough to take a walk.

I feel kind of bad for T. today. E. is going on her first field trip and because of the new baby she can't go and Mom is going instead. That must be really hard. I rescued her from a couple of garden snakes that W. dug out of the ground. He bit the bigger one's tail which really ticked it off and it tried to bite both of us. I did move them both to a stone wall, but I am not sure that T really liked that. She kept a close watch on C. and wouldn't let her out of her sight.

At least I'm awake now and not so cold. We turned the air conditioning up because it was too warm at the beginning of the week, today it was way too cold. I finally have something to do. The book order I placed earlier was entered wrong and now I have to do it again. That will be a task for tomorrow. DS's science teacher has still not called me. He did/could not complete an assignment and I want to get the whole story before I decide what to do. It is very irritating that they do not respond to calls. There is still time today, but not much. Maybe she'll still call. Tonight is open house, so we will get a chance to see and meet her then but I doubt there will be time to talk to her. I am also concerned how he is doing with social activities but I don't want to seem like I am bugging him about it. Tomorrow I will talk to M. about it and suggest that she and DS talk alone.
I am going on what has turned out to be a very intimate retreat. There will only be 7 of us. Speaking of social activities, I am a bit nervous about the retreat, but have to be confident about myself. It will be a good learning experience in more than one way. When I wrote earlier today about Friday night I forgot about the retreat. Shows just how awake I was!
Only a little over an hour left!

I can't remember last night's dream but I know it was an ok dream, not a nightmare. One of us has had a meeting every night this week. Tonight is open house and we are going to that. Friday night is free so far and I can't wait. I feel very sleepy today-could it be boredom seeping in? I have to think up a topic so I can write another article and try my hand again to see if I get published. I am still waiting for a couple of books to arrive so I will have something to catalog.

Nightmare

Last night's nightmare involved a witch who used me to have sex with men who wanted it. She also had killed many girls and the bodies were in the attic. The really scary part was that once I was rescued everyone thought that she was dead, but I knew she wasn't and would do the same to other girls (both killing girls and selling live ones as prostitutes.) I can't figure this one out. The house the woman lived in was a beautiful house and had a heated pool and jacuzzi, which I was allowed to use. The bodies were up in the attic space in that room that I never want to enter. This one was especially weird. At least I didn't wake up screaming from this one.
It is official, I am bored with little to do. I can't believe it is only the third week of school. (Actually I do have something to do-I can move books if I want to-but I don't want to.)

Well, school is back in session and things are going well. There are always a few hitches in a new building. The rest is pretty much the same. I am already getting close to the end of new work to do and boredom will soon set in. I have started earnestly looking for a new job. I don't know what will happen, but everything in its own time. Anxiety was a problem for the couple of days of school, but that is mostly gone. I am going on a retreat this weekend-with no one I know so it will make me a bit nervous. Things seem to be going well for DS he has kept up with homework so far and appears to be adjusting well to both new schools. BH is doing the same as always, contented, though he is still adjusting to his braces. Back to work.