Well, we made it through the first week of school. We all seem to be off to a good start. The holiday weekend was interesting. On Saturday, as I was showering, it suddenly hit me how J must feel. She must often feel the same way I do, nervous, not confident, not sure where to go or what to do next and wanting to make sure everyhting works out for the best. I guess I have thought that she always had everything going for her, but somehow I realized that the last couple of months have been a disaster for her, because with the breast cancer there is little under her control. She finished chemo last week and now will start radiation. Her doctor is confident that everything is under control and she will recover well. They have even found that it was a hormonal fluctuation that caused the cancer. We also believe that Lyme Disease she contracted while up here last summer made things move faster.

I have also been getting up early most mornings and riding the stationary bike for 10-20 minutes. It's a start. My great experiment with tapering off medication came to a disasterous close. After being on half doses for 5 weeks, I really lost my temper on three separate occasions. Brought back bad memories of verbal abuse inflicted on those around me. After a week back on I do actually feel better overall. My mother said that there are lots of people who must be on medicatio for the rest of their lives icluding those with diabetes or epilepsy. I was just kind of disappointed that all the anger management and calming exercises did not work well enough to keep me out of trouble. Oh well. I have also been eating very little junk food and eating three regular meals a day. I don't know what difference it wil make but at least I should be healthier.

Time for bed!