It has been a very long time since I last wrote, but I have only had the courage tonight. On the Friday ater I last wrote, BH took me to the emergancy room. While noone was watching, I took half a bottle of Pamelor. I did not want to go back to Natchaug and I was tired of arguing with the other me in my head about the bad things that would happen to other people and the nightmares. (I am not schizophrenic, but I have psychotic episodes.) I spent about twelve hours at the emergency room, then was transferred to Natchaug about midnight on a 15 day certificate. I am now on two new meds, Abilify and Trileptal which I just started this week. For the most part they have worked. I have had no nightmares and I don't even remember my dreams. The arguing has also stopped. I did cut myself3 or 4 times but haven't in a week.
I wrecked the money again and am back to some confusion and stuttering. I am trying to be positive about the future and actually have not felt too bad in a couple of weeks. I am too tired now to write my journal from the hospital tonight, but will fill in later.