Today began early (5), got up, ate, did a bit of work, then went back to bed. Bad dream two days ago with substance coming out of my mouth which tasted bad and I couldn't get rid of all of it. This morning (and I write this concerned about possible comments) I had a penis in my mouth and couldn't get it out. Even now, twelve hours later, it makes me cry. It was terrible. It has made my whole day go bad. I couldn't sit still, I can't write my thesis and to add to it, I have found two large spiders in the house. One of them is gone, the other I called my parents for. I feel so stupid about it, I should be able to handle a spider at my age, but I can't. Anyway, took some Ativan so I could get through the rest of the night. Being alone and considering my day, I am battling the blade.