Slip sliding away

Well things have really changed from Sunday. I have already cut my self several times and it looks like I will be headed for the hospital again. I was supposed to go to a Christian education program on Saturday, but there is a lovely peaceful lake which is way to tempting to pass the way I feel right now. I spent most of the morning trying not to vomit, now the two Ativan I took have me feeling better, but I know when I see S. tonight it will get worse again. I should be kept busy with two other meetings before then. It is somewhat comforting to think I will be somewhere safe, it's just the other part of being in the hospital (the other patients, etc.) I just don't understand how I got here so quickly. Well back to work.