Those feelings are coming back stronger. I did cut myself today-another six times. I really wanted to cut myself one more time, but was able, after much arguing with myself, to stop. Also thought about using the scissors on myself but also talked myself out of it. I don't understand where these feelings are coming from and I am concerned that I just want to because I have become used to it. That's not quite what I feel, but it is the best explanation I can offer. I am sitting outside again with the firepots snapping. The moon is not full tonight, but it is getting close and it is bright enough to see without a flashlight. The air has also turned colder tonight than it was last night. I imagine that in a couple of days the crickets will become silent. The chilly air also smells like fall. Hard to believe that only three weeks are left to Halloween.