Anxiety level is pretty high tonight. Fleeting (more than a second or two) about hurting myself. However, I am going to take DS back to his room tonight so I will not be alone while they are gone. Feeling a bit edgy about work and needing to go back but still need to go to OP (outpatient program.) Wish there was someway to do both. I definitely need to do the program, because of times like tonight, but I am wondering what is happening at work. Watched a couple of horror movies, pretty tame stuff, though Fourth Kind was decent. Had my own weird dream last night. As bizarre as it sounds, it somehow comforted me. I was someplace in a warm area with warm water. We went swimming and an Orca beached itself. We took it someplace to try and heal it, but the others wanted to use sterile gear. I just took mine off and said that real skin would help. It took all the mold off. As the Orca healed it watched American TV and when we went to release it it turned itself into a TV monitor and spewed back all the garbage it had seen. The people there for the release were getting upset, so I caught it and convinced it to change again, this time it chose a deep pink flower and then dissolved into an Orca again. Then we (DS and me) went out to the bay. We had a special camera that showed things underwater and how they were shaped. We saw a couple of things that looked like sharks and a baby Beluga, but turned out to be trash. Unfortunately I woke up too early and missed any more. I think I have been watching too many animal documentaries. Watched one yesterday about using sonar to find giant anacondas and a commercial about freeing an Orca after a bachelor party. Got to go.