I started at the outpatient program on Friday. I only went to one group because of signing papers, giving info, etc. The group seems good, but a lot with substance abuse. I realize because we live in an area of small towns, there are probably few programs that cater to just psych cases. There is plenty of overlap, especially with addictive behavior, but it can be hard to talk about things that make you sound really crazy because you cut or scratched yourself or o'd when you were completely sober. But I just have to realize that in order for this to possibly stick and work for more than a couple of years I need to tell all. I will probably never see these people again, yet they may be the source of a wisdom only afforded by people in a similar state.
I had some flutters when going by the hospital and every time I think of being in the hospital, I have to reinforce that I am ok out here. Only fleeting instances of thoughts of cutting, mainly because I know better that I have to distract myself quickly before they get to to be too much. Spent the day doing some work around the house, now I am knitting a hat for my mother for Christmas and have the TV on because it is really easy knitting and not enough of a distraction. Back to knitting.
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