Another night, another bad dream. This one was a bit different. BH was divorcing me, though I can't remember why. It bothers me because I think of what I have put him through and know that in some ways he would be better off if I weren't around.

I find myself kind of shaky lately. I am also losing weight again. I know the weight loss is in adding the Strattera (kind of like Alice, this pill makes you smaller, this one makes you taller). I am not sure about the shaky part. It might be because of the crazy eating schedule I have, or it could be nerves about work, or school, or J coming up for Christmas. But it probably is the Strattera and I don't believe the benefits outweigh the side effects, but I will give it one more month. Dr. P suggested Ritalin, but I am not sure I would like the ups and downs of it. Since it is a stimulant it works really well for a certain number of hours after taking it, but then that wears off and the hyperactivity comes back. It was great for DS in elementary school, because it let him be in control in school and then at home it didn't matter. Now he needs something that is more consistent and the Ritalin made him lose too much weight when he had to take a larger dose.